Emotional roller coaster of postnatal motherhood

Leaving the Lucia event at the Swedish Church last night

Sean is 12 days already. I can't believe how time is flying!

With Mum's huge support, I kind of thought that I had made it past the first huge hurdles , only to be struck with a blow. He has got what seems like stomach cramps, mostly in the night, and as the health visitor who came by today explained it might be colic! (but it might not as well..)

She also explained that there is such a bad stigma to the name and that it doesn't have to be as bad as one might think. She said that he looks like a healthy boy and that it seems like I'm doing all the right things and that I don't seems like an anxious mother at all... Well, despite that, naturally, as his mother, I cant help but be worried sick......

Motherhood is a wonderful thing, but you are just not prepared for the never ending worrying. "Is he breathing, is he warm enough, is he dressed properly,did I feed him enough" etc etc

I adore my baby boy, I would die for him, but I am overwhelmed with it all - and I put so much pressure on myself to be the best.. I want to be the best Mummy so badly I can't let him down, that's what I am thinking 24/7. I have bought some drops called Infacol today, so I'm hoping we will see some improvement and that the cramps he is experiencing right now will not escalate.

Last night we went to the Swedish Church for Lucia celebrations and Christmas carols. Sean behaved really well, didn't cry at all throughout and undoubtedly likes the Swedish tradition, lol. Bear said he too, really enjoyed it, even though he didn't understand a word of what they were singing. We had some mulled wine and ginger snaps afterwards and all in all, it was a great evening.