Pregnancy, week 37

You really know you’re heavily pregnant when:

The only pair of shoes that you can squeeze on your feet is a pair of trainers - and you can’t even wear them with socks.

Every woman you run into looks at you with pity.

Your ankles are wider than your calves.

Your fingers resemble sausages.

You have one pair of trousers that stays up high enough, and no tops that come down low enough to cover your belly.

Once in a parking space, you can’t open your car door wide enough to get out.

Standing up means having to pee.

Standing up also means having to waddle.

Standing up means odd pelvic pains too.

In fact, standing up is something to be avoided at all costs.

You cannot shut up about the fact that you are MORE THAN EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT, DAMMIT.